I'm not perfect.
I get insecure.
Sometimes I over-react and get anxiety over things that attack my insecurities.
I'm working on it, but I slip up time to time.
There are reasons why someone becomes insecure about certain things. To me, my past romantic (or not so romantic) relationships, have become the root of my some of my insecurities. Like many people out there, I have been cheated on, both emotionally and physically. But, I'm not a model citizen of morals either. Like most people, I've been hurt and heartbroken, badly. I coped in not so healthy ways that I'm not particularly proud. What I am trying to say here, is that I've gone through it, and because of that I started to feel less and less confident about myself, simply because of the fear of living through the same situations. I wasn't 100% trusting, and because of this, fueled my insecurities even more, thus affecting any new relationships.
After a few meltdowns, I've told myself that I need to get over my insecurities. I couldn't continue to punish new relationships because of what happened in the past. I started to read a lot about relationships, and the common idea I've learned is that relationships and men are simple. Things men do and say, don't really have any underlying 'meanings' or 'agendas'. When a guy says something, that's all it is. Nothing more, nothing less. Now I am not saying this is a catch-all for all men, but in my experience and from reading about it more and more, it's fairly accurate. This has taught me a lot about myself, and I'll tell you why.
What I learned?
In love, life and business - take things at face value. Don't over-analyze and don't start looking for hidden meanings and agendas. Take it for what it is, and live in that moment. In business, formulate a plan and manage expectations from the start. For example, if you are working on a team project, a clear set of goals and a solid work plan (minus any hidden tasks, possible roadblocks or costs) at the onset will make for a smoother outcome along the way. Be upfront. The same goes for your love life. Go into a relationship accepting what something is at face value, don't over-plan expectations, and avoid looking between the lines and formulating your own theories or assumptions. It will make for a less stressful and more pleasant relationship. If you do this from the start, you can avoid uncomfortable issues and arguments that are simply based on 'assumed' thoughts. I'm guilty of this. I've assumed and over-reacted about such minor speculative things. I let it eat at me, and started to come up with bogus ideas in my head. I didn't manage expectations properly, and ended up disappointed and distraught.
It was only until I realized and admitted my insecurities, did I start to make actual changes and to start trusting myself and others. Try it sometime, you might be surprised what taking a hard look in the mirror does.
Manage expectations from the start and don't overthink.