"I've always loved the idea of not being what people expect me to be."
-Dita Von Teese
I often get many questions about my love life, and why I don't put importance on getting married, having kids, and doing the things the typical person of my age (mid-late 30's) should be doing or caring about. The thing is, I really don't care for it. And it's not because I don't believe in it, and I certainly don't think other people shouldn't choose these life paths, it's just that I don't put so much of a focus on it as others. It just means that I'm comfortable with stepping outside of the typical 'love/life path', and forging my own path.
Personal journey's are all different, and with mine I've realized what love means to me. To me it's not the grand gestures, or diamond engagement rings, or being constantly attached at the hip to your significant other in perfect vlog-worthy moments. To me, it's sharing private moments, and feeling inner happiness. It's not about showing off your relationship on the gram, but rather keeping it close and intimate. It's not even about the physical act of saying 'I love you', it's the way someone shows you love, without saying a thing. If you know me, as I've gotten older I tend to separate my love life, personal life, work life and family life. And for me it works. For some people, they can't bare the idea of not meshing everything together. But in terms of me and my journey, the separation helps me stay balanced and focused.
The thought of being referred to as a 'duo', turns me off. The fact that people get worried or concerned if you show up to events solo, is mind boggling. I am comfortable in my own solo skin, regardless if I am in a relationship or single. When did people in relationships stop being their own, singular, standalone person? I have been there, and done that. And truthfully I am thankful I did, because now looking back at it, I know what I don't want. What I do want is to stay defined as my own person. I need a lot of space - to breathe, to run, to love on my own terms.
It's OK to love differently. It's OK to not want the basic definition of love. It's OK to not fall into 'the natural progression of relationships is marriage then kids'.
If you are the kind of couple that wants to Goldie-Hawn-and-Kurt-Russell it (a long-term companionship with no official marriage), then go for it, it's more than OK. If you fall in-and-out of lust and situationships, that's OK too. Just because the outside world can't handle the way you love in a not-so-familiar way, only reinforces the fact that you're being YOU. In general, people don't handle non-traditional ideas very well. They reject it at first, because they really don't know how to react, because there isn't a precedence for how they should react. If a couple decides to make a mutual life choice to not have children, the majority of the basic population out there cannot process the idea of this in a positive way. That's normal. Being comfortable in how you love is a beautiful thing. Embrace it.